So, What's Up: Surrender

It has been forever since my last entry... Well actually, only about 10 months. 


So, what's up?


Since my last entry... I have left the job at Victory Fort and spent summer driving my parents to their doctors' appointments. Then I met a pianist, started School of World Missions but due to personal reasons had to stop. So I'm back to summer: driving my parents to their doctors' appointments. And to waiting for direction: full-time work as trainer again, part-time trainer then odd jobs on the side or something else...


Here's my parents' situation: 


My mom's: had a major surgery, a post-laminectomy last July to fix her spine that was also operated on September 2009. She recovered fast partly because of her inner strength and determination. However, she continues to experience lower back pain that her doctor explains is due to rheumatism. She also complains about her left knee (on her right knee, a total knee-replacement was done last July 2008), which was just injected corticosteroid. She started physical therapy to hopefully ease out her pain.


My dad's: the doctors said his kidney's function is now at 10%, which means a hemodialysis might be needed to remove the toxins from his body. This made us seek a 2nd opinion, we went to the National Kidney and Transplant Institute and his new doctor prescribed this new medication. Something that will hopefully delay the need for dialysis. Here's the thing, my dad has a big appetite for salty, fatty food as well as fruits and root crops, which are all now not allowed. The doctor said three things can kill him: Potassium from fruits, Water that can drown his lungs and toxins that are not flushed out properly due to his kidney's disfunction.


The other challenge is this: my mom pities my dad so instead of the once a week allotment, she gives him fruit once a day. My sister, who is a retired nurse, gives in to my father's wishes despite the doctors warnings. And my dad, drinks too much water. I, therefore, become the antagonist - the food & water Hitler. Sadly it seem like my family, despite all the prayers, has resigned to the situation especially after my dad declared, "I wish to at least live until December."


I wanted to agree with my family's response - to just surrender and accept that my dad will most likely pass sooner than we hoped. But the other night, I was reminded of September's worship night's exhortation about HOPE. And again, last Thursday's worship night: "The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made." Psalm 145:13b


Even while taking a shower last Saturday, God reminded me of this. I can trust Him. He IS Sovereign! 


In my head, I said: my dad will walk me down the aisle, my dad's kidneys will miraculously get better that there will be no need for hemodialysis at all. 


In the shower, the word SURRENDER is given a meaning against my perspective. I surrender to my GOD that He knows best. That His will is good, perfect and pleasing. I surrender my dad, my parents' situation. I can strive and just get tired or I can surrender and be at peace with God's will. I choose the latter. 


And I request for your prayers too. Now, I have strength when we visit the doctor's again next week to see the result of the new medication I might believe the enemy's lies again. Stand with me that I will not forget what Jeremiah declared: "Ah Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR YOU." Jeremiah 32:17.